Spending Christmas with Sandra
As I age, my perspective on Christmas has shifted. The excitement of decorations has faded, replaced by a quiet contentment in simply being with people. This year, I spent time with Sandra. I last visited nearly two years ago, and while much has happened since, little has changed for her. She temporarily stayed in a residential home while her house was being repaired, but thankfully, her mind remains sharp. Yes, there are issues, particularly short-term memory.
At 85, life can change drastically, making our time together even more meaningful. I drove from the Valley to Phoenix, exiting near Palm Desert. Being with Sandra feels like spending time with a mother—perhaps a way of making up for not doing the same with my own. Her home is always clean and inviting. Upon arrival, we caught up, and she made sure I settled in. She’s meticulous about cleanliness, and we even made the bed together, layering the sheets just as she liked, chatting all the while.
Later, we set out for groceries. First, we stopped at Ralphs, but she recalled another store with good cheese. Driving around, following her directions, we eventually found it—Costco. Despite not having been there in a long time, she remembered the way.
Inside, I treated her as I always had, but I was more aware of her movements, ready to assist if needed. Choosing what to buy was overwhelming, but we took it step by step, filling the cart with meat, wine, beer, vegetables, fruit, coffee, cheese, and bread.
Spending time with Sandra reminded me of life’s impermanence. We joke about "kicking the bucket," but deep down, we understand the fleeting nature of time. Every day is a gift, and we make the most of what we have.
Sandra has a wide selection and with this shoes that she is wearing; she has this pair in 3 different colors. Since we didn’t have enough to peruse through all her collections over the years working with exclusive shops in Beverly Hills.
An issue of obsessive-compulsive tendencies surfaced at work. It’s remarkable how much she notices—breadcrumbs on the table and floor, small spills in the sink, and other tiny details. I quickly picked up on what she’s particular about and tried to avoid any trouble, though we teased each other about it. Then, she called me out for water spilled on the floor, even though I wasn’t the one who had done it. I started noticing little things like this happening more often, so I just followed her preferences to keep the peace.
We had a wonderful conversation over dinner. One night, we got carried away with red wine, finishing the entire bottle. She got tipsy and went to bed early to read her periodicals. She fell asleep, but then in about an hour, she checked me out. I was waiting for midnight to go to the church.
She notices so many details—it’s fascinating how her mind works. She can vividly recall stories from decades ago but struggles to remember what we ate last night, a sign that her short-term memory isn’t as sharp. Despite this, she functions well. One concern, though, is that she skips lunch, which could affect her nutrition
Luckily, she lives in a gated community surrounded with swimming pools and tennis coursts. A beautiful and a safe place for her. Here she has her own world and get visited by delivery people.
